Just fell off a train. Bad.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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