she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
