So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
