I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
