You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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