I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
We named our party play list daddy issues
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
