Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
