You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
