$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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