I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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