i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
