he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
