And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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