before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
