im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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