She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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