Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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