on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
