you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
