My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
