The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
