On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
