Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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