I think my vagina is haunted
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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