or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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