he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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