...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
