Sponge bath it is.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
