I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
