You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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