you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
