ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
