I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
