i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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