can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she smelled like a LAN party
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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