i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
