so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
