I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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