the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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