Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
if only i could text you this smell
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
