Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
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