Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
