so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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