if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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