If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
false alarm. still invincible.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize