matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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