she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It's rum buckets o'clock
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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