I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
