You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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