So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
