my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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