They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
